My Name is Faith, and I Know You

Yesterday Lance and I found out that we lost the baby we were expecting. I am sad, but I also know that I am loved. Family and friends have reached out to me to let me know that they love me. My husband and I are working through this together and I feel so loved by him. Mackenzie has shown me love as she also grieves this loss. And the most compelling love I know is the love of my Savior. I wanted to share the blessing in the midst of hurt that He gave me this morning.

After I dropped Mackenzie off at school and had my Tuesday morning prayer time with some mom friends, I headed to the hospital to see my precious friend Lindsey who has just welcomed a beautiful baby girl into this world. My loss does not diminish the joy I feel for her because her journey to motherhood was long and difficult, and I rejoice with her in seeing God's goodness revealed.

As I was leaving the hospital, a woman who was coming in stopped me and said, "Do I know you? I think I know you." While she did look familiar, I responded, "I don't know."

"My name is Faith," she said, "and I know that I know you."

"My name is Alison," I replied. But having gotten no recognition from the sharing of names. She smiled and said, "Well I don't know, but you sure look familiar." I nodded and said, "You look familiar too." And we went on our way.

When I sat down in my car, I lost my breath as God spoke to me.

"Alison, if you feel like you are loosing faith, I just want you to know that I know you. I AM Faith. I AM the Great I AM. And I know you, and I love you."

Thank you God for knowing me and making me feel known and loved. May my struggles add to my ministry for your kingdom so that I can share with others what it means to be known by Faith.

Character

"Character is the will to do what is right, as God defines right, despite the cost."

I don't know where that quote comes from, but I love it. It was in Lance's Bible Study this morning, and he shared it with me. I just had to share it with my blogger friends. Hope you all have a great day!

His Little Girl

I wanted to share a poem with you all that I wrote for Mackenzie's birthday. As she grows and experiences knew things, I have to continually remind myself that the only way I can be the parent she needs is to surrender control to God. He is the only Perfect Parent!

His Little Girl

I move your golden tendrils out of your sleeping eyes,

And a whirlwind of emotion takes me by surprise.

I pause and kneel beside your bed as I try to guess your dreams

Your small frame curled tightly; your look peaceful and serene.

I inhale slowly, then exhale as though I feel the weight.

This little life depends on me and the choices that I make.

Then just as tears begin to well and my heart begins to race,

I close my eyes, bow my head, and take my rightful place.

For every night, my precious one, I surrender my control

To One who loves you even more than we could ever know.

He knit your inmost being with a perfect plan in mind,

Lovingly creating you with a purposeful design.

So I ask for Him to lead me as I raise His little girl

And hold my hand as I hold yours to guide you through this world.

I pray that at a tender age, you learn to call Him "Lord"

And trust in Him, your Source of Strength, when life seems cold and hard.

I ask Him to reveal Himself in the choices that you make

As you hunger for His righteousness and always seek His face.

And on those days your way seems dark, I pray your soul is well

Because you hold to the assurance that His promises won't fail.

I beg your days of serving Him are fruitful and are many,

That you fulfill your heart's desires, and His blessings number plenty.

I begin to feel the peace He brings and know in you He finds delight.

I wrap my arms around you and kiss your head goodnight.

And as my weight is lifted by the One who holds the world,

I thank Him that He's given me this chance to hold His little girl.

Good Eats in SETX

Tonight Lance, Mack & I went to eat at Sake for the first time. I got the Crunch Roll and Mackenzie loved it. She has really unique tastes for a four year old. She got the Shrimp Hibachi Kid's Meal. I tasted some of hers, and it was really good too. We had fun together.

I love to go out to eat. We don't go very much because it is expensive and bad for you so when we do it is always a treat. I think my favorite places to go eat in SETX are Jason's Deli, Chili's and Carmela's. I like several things at Jason's, and I love the chocolate soft serve ice cream. At Chili's the black bean burger is delicious, and of course you can't go wrong with Carmela's Mexican food. Sometime Lance, Mackenzie and I all split the Grande Burrito and we still have some left to take home. It is huge!

What is your favorite place to eat in our area?

Busy Summer

It seems like I don't have much time to blog lately, or at least I have not taken the time. We have had a great and busy summer.

In June, I taught Vacation Bible School for the first time ever. It was fun, and I always love being with kids. We also had Mackenzie's recital. She loves dancing and I find so much joy in watching her. She was in ballet, tumbling and Father/Daughter dance (which was her favorite). She had three costume changes this year and so I felt like a real dance mom :) It was fun!

We also did swimming lessons in June with Miss Dayla. She was Mackenzie's three year old teacher at Holy Cross. We love her. She taught Mack a lot, and now Mackenzie is a little fish in the pool.

In July we enjoyed picking blueberries with my sister-in-law. Her grandparents have a blueberry farm in Spurger. We have eaten gallons of blueberries this summer. It has been a super treat! We also went to two Astro's games last month and spent some time at Toledo Bend and at a ski lake in Cheek that Lance's dad just bought a lot on. We even helped to build and paint the new boat dock. It was a fun but hot job.

Two weeks ago, Mack & I took a very quick last-minute trip to Austin with my mom. It was so fun! We went to Barton Springs, toured the Capitol and did some shopping in San Marcos. I think Mackenzie learned a lot about our state on the trip.

Last week was one of the highlights of the summer. Lance, Mackenzie & I participated in a Backyard Bible Club at Rienstra Park. A lot of young adults helped and over 20 kids came to play games, have snacks, make crafts and most importantly, hear about the love of Jesus. The last night was a Family Night. We got to share the love of Christ with over 50 people. It was exciting to see God moving in our community.

Next week is Mackenzie's birthday. She will be five. We are getting her ears pierced for her birthday. She is excited. I am excited for her too. Getting your ears pierced is sort of a rite of passage, and it reminds me that she is growing up. She is such a sweet beautiful little girl. God has blessed our family so much this summer...with each other, with fun activities, and with the opportunity to be about His Work.

Answered Prayers

I have not posted in forever so I thought I would update my blog friends on some exciting new things around the Howell house. Lance got a job! Praise the Lord!

He is working for Controlled Fluids in Beaumont. They build pumps and valves and stuff...I don't really understand it all, but that is why he is the engineer and not me :) His first day was yesterday. It is such an answer to prayer that he was able to secure a job in this really tough labor market. God was so faithful to provide for us while we were waiting and now He has sent this big blessing our way. We are so thankful to Him.

My bro-in-law & sis-in-law also had a beautiful healthy baby girl on February 9th. Her name is Brenlee Kate. She has a beautiful head of silky brown hair. Mackenzie and I have had a lot of fun spending time with her. This makes niece #2 for me,and I have a nephew on the way in April.

On another note, one of my best friends who has been struggling with infertility for over four years found out she is pregnant. I have prayed for her so much and care about her so much, and I was SUPER excited by her great news. She really inspires me.

Some of my other good friends have surrendered to the ministry and I know God has exciting things for their lives too. God is so good. In times like this when His blessings seem so real and abundant, I want to make sure and give Him the glory. He teaches us things while we are waiting so that when His time is made perfect we can glorify Him for his generous love.

My Stone

A good friend of mine and I were talking at Bible Study this past Sunday about how we feel like there have been a lot of tragedies lately. It seems like the enemy is really attacking right now. A few years ago when I was going through some tough things and feeling that way, I wrote a poem that was based on the story of David & Goliath because I felt like I had a lot of Goliath's in my life at the time. I thought I would share it with all of you too in case you feel like you are fighting a Goliath right now...

My Stone

"I defy the ranks of Israel," the young boy heard him say.

Then his heart began to race as he looked Goliath's way.

But the beats that pounded in his chest were not from rage or fear,

But from the call of God that fell upon his ear.

"I have chosen you my child; this battle you must fight.

Not with sword and not with spear, but with my power and might."

So courageous little David looked Goliath in his eyes

And approached the battle line, not shaken by his size.

He reached into his pouch and pulled out one round stone.

As he drew his sling, his hands were steady because he wasn't holding it alone.

And even while Goliath shot out curses on God's name,

The living God of David calmed his heart and held his aim.

Then across the line soared David's stone and struck Goliath's head,

And David's enemy, the giant, fell silent then fell dead.

I can almost hear the brutal blow and see Goliath fall

Because the call that little David felt has also been my call.

There are Goliath's in my life God is calling me to fight

Not with sword and not with spear, but with his power and might.

And just as God held David, I do not fight alone

So I'll march up to the battle line, draw my sling, and throw my stone.