I would like to start out by letting the whole world know that LANCE GRADUATED! I am so excited about this partly because it has been a hard road for him to work and study and for me to manage everything around here, but also I am just so proud of him for persisting. I don't think he likes me to make a big deal about it because he somehow feels embarrassed that he was in school for a long time. I feel the opposite. I think it is such a show of his character and his willingness to follow God's will wherever He leads, and however challenging it might be.
Which basically leads me to the next part of this post. I guess one reason that I admire this trait in Lance is because I see the lack of it in myself. God is actually using Lance and another person in my life to show me that my commitment level to Him is not 100%.
I know that no one's life is perfect, and I have had many struggles too. But I also know that God has abundantly blessed my life. I have a wonderful husband, and I am not just saying that in a non-chalant way. We are in the unique situation because we were best friends in high school and fell in love shortly after that. Both of us don't have a burdened past, and we have only ever been in love with each other. God has also been so faithful to sustain us financially. He has given us more than we need in life, and lately even when money is tight, there was always enough. And then of course, we have Mackenzie and even though we did not expect her, she has blessed and richened our lives in countless ways. God even provided a way for me to stay home with her. It seems like a perfect life. And in some ways that is where my struggle comes in...in a lot of ways it is a perfect life. The problem? I think I may care more about it than my relationship with God.
Is living life inside my white picket fence more important to me than total surrender to God? If God asked me to lay down my white picket fence life on Abraham's alter, would I be willing? I don't think so.
I know that God could choose to allow life's storms to tear down that fence at any time, and if it happened what would my devotion level be to Him? Would I stand upon the Rock or would I crumble with the fence?
Someone in my life recently has had their ideas and dreams dissappointed, and I see how they are trusing God to be their Protector. Sometimes I think I put more trust in my white picket fence life than in God.
I want to be willing to be used by God in whatever way He wants to use me. I don't want to be contained by my white picket fence any longer. I want to love like He loves; I want to move where He goes; and I want to sacrifice as He deserves. I want to tear down that fence!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Hoedown Throwdown Momma!
Easter was really good for my family this year. We were excited to have Laurie and Micah here to enjoy it with us, along with all of my other family. I am so blessed that my in-laws and my parents share holidays together. They were friends before Lance and I were ever married so we have been spending holidays with the ENTIRE family since the beginning. What a blessing!
And of course, it is a blessing for Mackenzie too. She absolutely loves having her whole family together. We had Easter dinner at our house, and everyone came bearing Easter gifts for Mackenzie. At first I worried about this because I wanted to make sure that she knew that holidays like Easter and Christmas are first and foremost about Jesus Christ and not about presents, but I think that she understands the true meanings now.
On Saturday morning we made Resurrection Rolls with her. Very cool! If you have not heard of them, you take a large marshmallow and explain that it is like Jesus, white, pure, sinless. You dip the marshmallow in melted butter and cinnamon suger like Joseph of Arimathea and Jesus' followers annointed his body after the cross. Then you wrap the marshmallow in a crescent roll, sealing it tightly, to represent the linen cloths. You cook the rolls for 10 to 12 minutes in the oven, and you can explain that the oven is like the tomb. And when the rolls are done, the marshmallow is no longer there, instead you have a sweet puffed up roll. Mackenzie had a lot of fun with it and seemed to understand the symbolism.
For Easter, Jenna got her a fish in a fish bowl and the new Hannah Montana CD. This of course overshadowed anything that Lance and I put in her Easter basket. The fish is named Schnoney (don't know where she came up with that?), and I am pretty sure it is going to have a short life span, as she is obsessed with feeding it, and I have found her on more than one occassion with her hands in the fish bowl. At least goldfish are easy to replace, right :)
As far as the Hannah Montana CD, we have listened to the Hoedown Throwdown song about 5 million times since Sunday, and Mackenzie wants me to dance with her each and every time. I got tired of bouncing around so I went to the Hannah Montana tutorial on youtube and actually learned the dance. Mackenzie and Jenna thought that was totally cool so I earned some good mom brownie points for that one. The only problem is that Mackenzie wants me to show everyone the cool Hannah Montana dance, which can create some embarrassing moments. Of course I refuse, but nevertheless I am glad she is proud of me.
And of course, it is a blessing for Mackenzie too. She absolutely loves having her whole family together. We had Easter dinner at our house, and everyone came bearing Easter gifts for Mackenzie. At first I worried about this because I wanted to make sure that she knew that holidays like Easter and Christmas are first and foremost about Jesus Christ and not about presents, but I think that she understands the true meanings now.
On Saturday morning we made Resurrection Rolls with her. Very cool! If you have not heard of them, you take a large marshmallow and explain that it is like Jesus, white, pure, sinless. You dip the marshmallow in melted butter and cinnamon suger like Joseph of Arimathea and Jesus' followers annointed his body after the cross. Then you wrap the marshmallow in a crescent roll, sealing it tightly, to represent the linen cloths. You cook the rolls for 10 to 12 minutes in the oven, and you can explain that the oven is like the tomb. And when the rolls are done, the marshmallow is no longer there, instead you have a sweet puffed up roll. Mackenzie had a lot of fun with it and seemed to understand the symbolism.
For Easter, Jenna got her a fish in a fish bowl and the new Hannah Montana CD. This of course overshadowed anything that Lance and I put in her Easter basket. The fish is named Schnoney (don't know where she came up with that?), and I am pretty sure it is going to have a short life span, as she is obsessed with feeding it, and I have found her on more than one occassion with her hands in the fish bowl. At least goldfish are easy to replace, right :)
As far as the Hannah Montana CD, we have listened to the Hoedown Throwdown song about 5 million times since Sunday, and Mackenzie wants me to dance with her each and every time. I got tired of bouncing around so I went to the Hannah Montana tutorial on youtube and actually learned the dance. Mackenzie and Jenna thought that was totally cool so I earned some good mom brownie points for that one. The only problem is that Mackenzie wants me to show everyone the cool Hannah Montana dance, which can create some embarrassing moments. Of course I refuse, but nevertheless I am glad she is proud of me.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Last Month
Well, things have finally slowed down for the Howell bunch. Praise the Lord! We had a very eventful month last month. NuNu passed away, Mackenzie spent a week in the hospital, we had an estate sale for NuNu's stuff, Laurie and Micah moved back to town, and the list goes on.
I am grateful that things are relatively calm now, and we are enjoying some spring cleaning and some family time. Of course, Lance is still busy with school, but that will be over soon too, yea!!! He is building a wind turbine for his Senior Engineering Project. It is actually a windmill that is hooked up to a generator and the wind produces electricity. Pretty amazing! He is so smart, and I admire his brains and his determination. I can't wait to congratulate my graduate next month :)
One of the coolest things that I have gotten to do recently was bring Kiley and Kozmo to visit Mackenzie's Mother's Day Out class. I'm sure you are wondering who Kiley and Kozmo are. They are Jenna's baby goats. Yes Jenna has goats in her backyard. We call her Ellie Mae for a reason. Above are a few pictures of Jenna and Mackenzie showing off the baby goats to the three year olds at Holy Cross MDO.
The kids and her teacher loved the goats. And it was a lot of fun to share them. Mackenzie told Jenna that after that day she was the coolest girl in school :)
In conclusion, I am looking forward to this summer and some fun camps and vacations, and I am so thankful for everything the Lord has brought us through in the last several weeks. He is always faithful and always good. Happy Ressurrection Week!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Blessed
We're home! Mackenzie got out of the hospital on Friday, and since the doctor said that she could run and play but she could not be around large groups of people, we decided to spend the weekend at the lake. We had so much fun!
Mackenzie is feeling great and was so glad to be outside and playing after spending 8 days inside and sick. We fished, and she caught a big fish (and that's no fish story). We played in the sand and in the grass. We rode on the golf cart and on the four wheeler. We went running and walking. We grilled and ate. It was fantastic.
The thing that was on my mind the most this weekend was how blessed I am. My life is not perfect, no one's is. But God's love and provision is abundant. I think sometimes in our struggles, we see that most clearly because it is in those difficult times that He is everything that we need.
Mackenzie is feeling great and was so glad to be outside and playing after spending 8 days inside and sick. We fished, and she caught a big fish (and that's no fish story). We played in the sand and in the grass. We rode on the golf cart and on the four wheeler. We went running and walking. We grilled and ate. It was fantastic.
The thing that was on my mind the most this weekend was how blessed I am. My life is not perfect, no one's is. But God's love and provision is abundant. I think sometimes in our struggles, we see that most clearly because it is in those difficult times that He is everything that we need.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Mackenzie is in the hospital!
This Friday Mackenzie started running a fever and throwing up. By Sunday afternoon, we had to take her to the emergency room because we could not get her fever down and she was sooooo sick. When we got to the ER they did blood work and took chest X-rays, and we found out that she had pneumonia. We were shocked. It had all happened so fast and on top of that she never had a cough or even a runny nose, just fever.
They put us in the hospital that night and quickly started treatments...IV antibiotic, breathing treatments, more blood work. The first night here we literally did not go to sleep. She is better now; however, we will be in the hospital until Friday. The pneumonia got into her blood, which can be very dangerous. She is reacting great to the medicines and improving a lot but we have to stay here to continue the medicine until we are sure all of the infection is gone.
Now that she is feeling better the hardest part about being here (besides being woken up so much in the night with breathing treatments, blood pressure, etc) is keeping her entertained. But God is good. The doctors are taking good care of my baby.
They put us in the hospital that night and quickly started treatments...IV antibiotic, breathing treatments, more blood work. The first night here we literally did not go to sleep. She is better now; however, we will be in the hospital until Friday. The pneumonia got into her blood, which can be very dangerous. She is reacting great to the medicines and improving a lot but we have to stay here to continue the medicine until we are sure all of the infection is gone.
Now that she is feeling better the hardest part about being here (besides being woken up so much in the night with breathing treatments, blood pressure, etc) is keeping her entertained. But God is good. The doctors are taking good care of my baby.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
My Rarely Mentioned Miracle
Tonight I was preparing to get in the bathtub when my husband thought he would be funny by banging violently on the bathroom wall to startle me. I hate being scared, and he knows that, which is what I think makes scaring me so much fun for him. Well tonight when I heard that banging sound, it was like an instant flashback to a sound that I had heard before and one that I don't like thinking about.
When we evacuated 3 1/2 years ago for Hurricane Rita, we went to my brother-in-law's house in Fort Worth. Lance was packing up the car to come back home, and he had a gun in his hand that he had brought with us for the trip up there. We had all recently seen the terrible things that had happened in New Orleans, and since he has a concealed hand gun license, it made sense that he would keep one with him on the road to protect his family if, God forbid, the need arose. However, as he carried the gun to put it back in the vehicle for the ride home, the leather band on the holster holding the gun in place broke and the gun came violently down on the hard tile of Laurie and Micah's front foyer. When the gun hit the ground, it dischared a bullet, which shot into Lance's leg. The gun was a 357 Magnum, and Lance was standing at point blank range. Micah was holding Mackenzie in his arms about 4 feet from where Lance was standing.
I was outside at the time of impact loading some other things in the car, but I heard the very loud bang. I was not sure what it was, but it sent me running for the house. My baby was inside! When I opened the front door, it was smoky, it smelled like gun powder and my husband was on the ground. I panicked. Micah told me to get towels and even though we had been staying there for over three weeks, I could not think of where the towels were. Micah called 911. I went to the bathroom and threw up. Its not that I was grossed out by blood or anything because there really was not much of it. I was just literally sick with anxiety and upset. Lance was concious and telling me everything was OK, but he was sweating alot and was very white in color.
The paramedics got there, and the first thing that they commented on was that there was no exit wound, which was a very good thing because the hole that a bullet creates in entry is much smaller than the hole created from an exit wound. The police also got there and since it was a gun shot wound they had to question us about what had happened. They made Micah and I go into separate rooms to tell the story of what happened to make sure that our stories matched up. Of course this totally tramautized an already freaking out wife. After the cops confirmed there was no foul play, they helped me into the ambulance and I rode with Lance to the county hospital while Micah followed behind in my car with Mackenzie.
When we arrived at the trauma emergency room of Fort Worth's county hospital, we had to make our way through the chain gang of prisoners who were being treated there. When I saw what the hospital was like, I sent Micah and Mackenzie back home because I realized it was no place for my six week old baby! So there I was left with a wounded husband in a very threatening, scary place. But God was with me! They took Lance in for an arteriorgram and UNBELIEVABLY, the bullet entered two millimeters away from his main artery. No permanent damage. After several long hours of monitoring him in the emergency room, we were sent home that night.
The reason that I don't like talking about this is because it was very traumatic for me. Not only was my husband hurt, but my baby was just steps away from the bullet, not to mention Lance was TWO MILLIMETERS from death himself. The "what ifs" haunted me for a long time. And the time following his wound was difficult because I had to take care of him and a new baby, as well as return to work. We had a lot of family help, but it was still a very tough time for me.
But tonight as I was sent flashing back to that scary day, I really saw the miracle of the situation and I felt like rarely mentioning it was really not bringing glory to God who so deserves it. He protected my family. I have no doubt His hands guided that bullet right through Lance's leg so no permanent damage was done then He stopped it so that Lance would not bleed out from an exit wound. Then He gave us the strength to cope with the recovery. God does work miracles. I know He does it everyday, and I want you to know that He worked a miracle for my family that day. Thank you God for the miracle of my salvation and thank you for working miracles in my life and the lives of others.
When we evacuated 3 1/2 years ago for Hurricane Rita, we went to my brother-in-law's house in Fort Worth. Lance was packing up the car to come back home, and he had a gun in his hand that he had brought with us for the trip up there. We had all recently seen the terrible things that had happened in New Orleans, and since he has a concealed hand gun license, it made sense that he would keep one with him on the road to protect his family if, God forbid, the need arose. However, as he carried the gun to put it back in the vehicle for the ride home, the leather band on the holster holding the gun in place broke and the gun came violently down on the hard tile of Laurie and Micah's front foyer. When the gun hit the ground, it dischared a bullet, which shot into Lance's leg. The gun was a 357 Magnum, and Lance was standing at point blank range. Micah was holding Mackenzie in his arms about 4 feet from where Lance was standing.
I was outside at the time of impact loading some other things in the car, but I heard the very loud bang. I was not sure what it was, but it sent me running for the house. My baby was inside! When I opened the front door, it was smoky, it smelled like gun powder and my husband was on the ground. I panicked. Micah told me to get towels and even though we had been staying there for over three weeks, I could not think of where the towels were. Micah called 911. I went to the bathroom and threw up. Its not that I was grossed out by blood or anything because there really was not much of it. I was just literally sick with anxiety and upset. Lance was concious and telling me everything was OK, but he was sweating alot and was very white in color.
The paramedics got there, and the first thing that they commented on was that there was no exit wound, which was a very good thing because the hole that a bullet creates in entry is much smaller than the hole created from an exit wound. The police also got there and since it was a gun shot wound they had to question us about what had happened. They made Micah and I go into separate rooms to tell the story of what happened to make sure that our stories matched up. Of course this totally tramautized an already freaking out wife. After the cops confirmed there was no foul play, they helped me into the ambulance and I rode with Lance to the county hospital while Micah followed behind in my car with Mackenzie.
When we arrived at the trauma emergency room of Fort Worth's county hospital, we had to make our way through the chain gang of prisoners who were being treated there. When I saw what the hospital was like, I sent Micah and Mackenzie back home because I realized it was no place for my six week old baby! So there I was left with a wounded husband in a very threatening, scary place. But God was with me! They took Lance in for an arteriorgram and UNBELIEVABLY, the bullet entered two millimeters away from his main artery. No permanent damage. After several long hours of monitoring him in the emergency room, we were sent home that night.
The reason that I don't like talking about this is because it was very traumatic for me. Not only was my husband hurt, but my baby was just steps away from the bullet, not to mention Lance was TWO MILLIMETERS from death himself. The "what ifs" haunted me for a long time. And the time following his wound was difficult because I had to take care of him and a new baby, as well as return to work. We had a lot of family help, but it was still a very tough time for me.
But tonight as I was sent flashing back to that scary day, I really saw the miracle of the situation and I felt like rarely mentioning it was really not bringing glory to God who so deserves it. He protected my family. I have no doubt His hands guided that bullet right through Lance's leg so no permanent damage was done then He stopped it so that Lance would not bleed out from an exit wound. Then He gave us the strength to cope with the recovery. God does work miracles. I know He does it everyday, and I want you to know that He worked a miracle for my family that day. Thank you God for the miracle of my salvation and thank you for working miracles in my life and the lives of others.
Monday, February 9, 2009
NuNu Went to Heaven Today
Well, I know a lot of you have heard that Lance's grandmother, NuNu as most know her, died today. She and I were very close, and I feel blessed to have some special memories. For the first five years we were married, Lance and I lived in a little house behind hers. We did not have a washer and dryer so I did all of my clothes at her house. In 2002, she had an anurism in her heart, and she has not been in great health since then. Brenda took good care of NuNu until she went to be with Jesus and since that time the family has all worked together to meet NuNu's needs. She also had a really special lady named Maria who came and ran errands with her. NuNu loved to be on the go, and really nothing, even the anurism could slow her down.
NuNu dearly loved Mackenzie and Mack loved her too. I am OK with everything about her passing because I have memories to cherish and I know she did not suffer, but I am a little concerned about my precious three-year old and how she is going to process this. We have experienced loss before, but this is the first time Mackenzie has been old enough to understand what is going on and really feel the loss. We told her that NuNu went to be with Jesus and that she was going to see Gammy (Brenda), and she seemed to understand, yet at the same time, she asks questions like, "When is NuNu coming home?" I am praying that Lance and I can use this experience as a teaching opportunity to show her the saving, eternal power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Yesterday was a great day for NuNu, and that is how I want to remember her. She moved her letter of membership to Hillcrest yesterday and then I fixed a hot dog lunch. She loved the chili I made for the hot dogs so much, and she looked so pretty all dressed up for church. And she was happy and smiling. As I sit here I can only imagine how magnified that happiness became today when she was able to worship Jesus in her eternal home with Him.
Thank you, Jesus, for NuNu, and thank you that you love us and desire us so much that you died a terrible death so that we could live a redeemed life forever with you and all those that love you.
NuNu dearly loved Mackenzie and Mack loved her too. I am OK with everything about her passing because I have memories to cherish and I know she did not suffer, but I am a little concerned about my precious three-year old and how she is going to process this. We have experienced loss before, but this is the first time Mackenzie has been old enough to understand what is going on and really feel the loss. We told her that NuNu went to be with Jesus and that she was going to see Gammy (Brenda), and she seemed to understand, yet at the same time, she asks questions like, "When is NuNu coming home?" I am praying that Lance and I can use this experience as a teaching opportunity to show her the saving, eternal power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Yesterday was a great day for NuNu, and that is how I want to remember her. She moved her letter of membership to Hillcrest yesterday and then I fixed a hot dog lunch. She loved the chili I made for the hot dogs so much, and she looked so pretty all dressed up for church. And she was happy and smiling. As I sit here I can only imagine how magnified that happiness became today when she was able to worship Jesus in her eternal home with Him.
Thank you, Jesus, for NuNu, and thank you that you love us and desire us so much that you died a terrible death so that we could live a redeemed life forever with you and all those that love you.
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